For this life this has to offer twists inside
by toolostforyou
Summary: Wrote for newsroom ficathon over at LJ. What if Mac had had a miscarriage when she and Will were together before, but she never told him?


Mackenzie didn't know why she had put off telling Will. She had known she was pregnant for about a week before she got around to buying a test from the local CVS, taking it during her lunch break in Starbucks. They hadn't really spoken about children; it was two weeks until the year anniversary of their first date. It was the most serious and intense relationship she had ever been in for such a sort space of time. They had indirectly spoken about their future but children never really came into play. It seemed like it would be something they would talk about when the time came around.

Except it had come around and she didn't know how to approach the subject. She carried the positive test around in her handbag; taking it to work and whoever's apartment they decided to spend the night at. There had been several moments in bed when she thought the perfect moment was upon her. The sweat just starting to dry on her body, her breathing return to normal and when she decided to finally speak up she heard the start of his soft snore. Damn the male gender for feeling the need to sleep, or at least nap, after sex.

Mac had held the knowledge of her pregnancy for three weeks, although she worked out she was only two and a half months pregnant, still a few weeks off showing she had started to become paranoid over Will just knowing. It had been weeks of uninterrupted sex and she had been feigning a stomach bug for just as long.

She was stood in the control room, watching Will start to wrap up a broadcast when she started to feel a dull ache in the pit of her stomach. Everyone around her must have noticed that something had gone wrong since as soon as the lighting went up signalling the end of a broadcast she was bombarded with questions asking her if she was okay. Brushing off the questions she made her way out of the control room, stealing a full bottle of water off one of the bookers tables, hoping they wouldn't mind it missing.

Trying to put the ache out of her mind, she quietly sat in the back of the car, hardly speaking a word to Will as the made the way to her apartment, as per her request.

"Do you want to order take-away? Maybe a Chinese? I'm going to grab a quick shower and then I'll be out." She pressed a kiss to his cheek as she took off her coat and slowly started to make her way to the bedroom.

"Mac?"

"Yeah."

"Is everything okay?" Stopping in her tracks, she looked down at her hands that had started to shake as the pain started to intensify and spread around to her back.

"Yeah I'm fine. I'm just tired, you know how hard it is breaking in the new interns."

It was easier to try and make a joke, put Will's mind at rest and think that either way, one of their worlds was going to get tipped upside down tonight.

Closing and locking the door behind her, she turned on the taps, finding a temperature that was a few degrees colder than she usually would have it. Mac started off by pulling off the jumper that she had been wearing, it fitted nicely over her trousers and helped put her mind at ease that no one was going to notice the extra pounds she had put on from her Krispy Kreme cravings.

It was only when she started to pull off her trousers that she noticed the blood that had started to stain her upper thighs. She desperately held back a sob as she pushed them down her legs and kicked them out of the way. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and took off the rest of her underwear. Hoping that if she imagined she was on a tropical island somewhere she could block out both the physical and emotional pain.

Slipping into the bath when it was filled to a certain level, she knew that she should go to the hospital but that would involve telling Will. What could be more devastating than finding out your girlfriend if pregnant than finding out in the same moment? Mac shut her eyes again once she got settled in the water, her hands gripping onto the side of the bathtub, attempting to relax as much as she could.

She jumped out of her skin when she heard the door handle getting pressed on followed by a knock.

"Mac, the food is going to get cold." She had no idea how long she had been in the bath, if they had managed to deliver the food and it was getting to the point where Will was complaining it was cold, it must have been at least 40 minutes. Although she wouldn't put it past him complaining due to his rumbling stomach.

"You can start, I just lost track of time. I'll be out in a few minutes."

Carefully getting out the bath, she emptied out the water and then reran the taps, leaving them running as she tried to go through the nightly ritual of getting changed into her pyjamas, except this time picking one of Will's shirts and a pair of jogging bottoms that she needed to roll up at the bottom.

Sending a message to her physician, asking for an emergency appointment first thing in the morning, Mac pulled her hair up into a bun before taking a deep breath and attempting to put it behind her.

The next day, she sat in her doctor's office, listening as the facts and figures got explained to her, attempting to make her feel better and that it wasn't her fault. But it didn't stop her eyes from lining red with tears

"He… the father doesn't know. How am I meant to heal without telling him?"


End file.
